Love so many times I’ve tried to define you

For myself compromised you

But I’ve been blind too.

Oh love I’ve tried to forsake you

Wanted to hate you

Because I needed a breakthrough

But love and faith too save you

Shape you

Indescribably make you

What can I say about love?

How it surprises us defines us reminds us that we are human

Beings, cheating greedy

Backstabbing, misleading

Tricked into believe we don’t deserve you

Because we’ve become so complicated, educated, violated…

And just to played with

That we actually believe we can live without you

Because when they abuse, confuse and try to misuse

The love that God had given us

We try to readjust but it’s broken us

Robbed us of love

Stealing from God!

Love

I’ve thought it so much that it’s the very object of my obsession

Its essence my most prized possession

Without exception

I’ve cried about it

Lied about it

Almost died without it

But he said you must protect it

Accept it

Try your best not to rejected it

Embrace it

Face it

Don’t try to restrain it or claim it.

Cuz the world would try to break it

Take it

Destroy it and replace it

But how?

When it surrounds us

Abounds us

And most times confounds us so deeply that

We write songs about it

Go on and on about it

Don’t where we belong without it

It’s absence lives a pain in your chest

I think Roberta Flack said it best,

“The first time ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes”

It’s odd

Or was she talking about God?

Cuz my love is an ancient love

It’s a naked love

My love is a raw love

Never saw love, love like this before

You can feel it

Even though they’d try to steal it

But I can’t be brought and

It can’t be sold

No I can’t be brought

And I won’t be sold

Because that’s how it’s supposed to be

You gotta give your best to me.

I feel like he was someone I missing, thought we never meet before. I know what he’s gonna say before he says it and I am right. He knows where my mind is headed he won’t let me not fight. It feels right. And it’s only been weeks since my last break up, but we make plans and God laughs at us. As if we could choose with whom and when we fall in love. But we don’t want to fuck it up so we handle it with kid gloves. Leaving nothing to disappointment, this love feels anointed or rather ordained. Am I insane? It makes me feel crazy because I think of him daily, I’m thinking if he’s thinking about me and he is. I think about kids, I already feel at home. He’s like no one I’ve ever know but I feel like I knew him before. It’s raw!

Is this who God was teaching me for? Were all the other loves practice? I am not new at this, but he makes me smile. So I’m willing to wait a while. Should I tell him I adore him? I had to thank God for him. We can even cook together, I’m really down for whatever.

I can’t pretend… I’m falling in love again.

This is not the Drake I know and love. I feel like young money changed you and has you feeding into this pseudo gangster shit. I think the nail in the coffin for me is this ”beef” with Common. Now Common did throw the 1st punch with “Sweet” but honestly, for all you know that nigga could have been taking about Frank ocean.

But you are having “Beef” with a conscience rapper… You don’t have beef you have a soy burger…. It’s a little ridiculous. You having this tofu battle with Common is like Elizabeth Hasselbac having beef with Kelly Rippa, it’s rather comical.

You are a great rapper who happens to sing (sort of) you are a bit “Sweet” but that’s only because you do rap about your feelings and in the intricacies of your relationships with random Hollywood bitches… And Frankly and that’s why we love you! When try to act all hard talking about scheming Negros and such it’s a turn off. Where is the Drizzy that wrote a whole mixtape about Bria or dedicated   songs to Aaliyah ? I know that Drizzy, I miss that this whole new fuck bitches get money persona is a little frightening. Your edge and your niche is being open about your emotions. Not on some hyper masculine, fuck your feelings type shit! And right now you’re making money over all of those fools, that’s why they’re mad. Don’t entertain it, Jay-Z warned you about this silly rap feuds didn’t he? This is new rap for a new a day and a new generation. Honestly I am huge fan of Common too and he is the last rapper I would except to talk about somebody being “Sweet”  . Maybe he’s a little salty on you knocking down Serena…. And since when do those type of rappers start beef anyhow? But at this point have nothing to prove and your doing something different. Let it be nigga.

I guess what I am really trying to say is…. Drake , brother, you grew up in Toronto, your Jewish, your a wheel chair Jimmy turned rapper extraordinaire. You are the voice of the bush administration generation… You are not hard. STOP IT!

What was happening under the surface however could be described as nothing short of amazing. In an interview I did with friend of mine (@TheXDExperience) he said to me,

“People respond with who or what they relate to the most…”

And respond and relate they did. In August 2010 Stale.com stated that “25% of all black people that use the internet regularly use Twitter.” That’s hundreds of millions of Black users. That’s a lot a Negros in one place. When there are that many people who are of a similar background, experience, or interest as you, in a designated area, whether virtual or physical, community forms.

I remember reading a book by James E. Blackwell  in the 11^th grade and he said this about African-American community and tradition,

“Much of what has survived originated in an African past. Survivals include family patterns and attitudes, songs, dance, religious practices, superstitions, ways of walking, verbal expressions, orientation toward recreation and pleasure, epicurean traditions, sex-related role expectations, music, given names for children, and traditional foods. Thus Blauner and others advanced the notion that an authentic black culture survived slavery and is to be found today largely in the urban ghettos of black America. That culture has its roots in the parallel institutions that evolved and crystallized social relationships among the members of the black community.” (BLACKWELL, 1985)

If I look at this quote, then I look at what I have found what “Black Twitter” to be, is something that is bound together by  inside black jokes, and random funny, jokes in general, or gossip around the neighborhood or the world. We see that the traditions and commonalities of African-American communities somehow translate unto this constricted online setting. But then again, what truly defines us as a community? That thought initially seemed obscure to me, but the abstract in Blackwell’s book said this,

“The black community is defined in this book as a diversified set of interrelated structures and aggregates of people who are held together by the forces of racism. The need for theoretical perspectives for understanding black-white relations and for analyzing the nature of the black community is explained.”

In reading this I thought about what are common treads in the African-American community by-at-large? And what I found is no matter who we are at the core, we are all Black yet and still. And that means certain things in this world. I thought back to situation that a predominate Black celebrity and Black Twitter figure Solange Knowles had with the Miami Police in early August of this year which she tweeted about.

“The confrontation came to light once Knowles took to her Twitter account on Sunday night following making a failed attempt to escort a five-foot inflatable banana into South Beach hot spot, Club Cameo, which reportedly resulted in an officer threatening to deflate Knowles’ over-sized fruit. “I have literally had my last leg with discriminating police! Miami police department will be notified,” she wrote. “A police officer just pulled a weapon on me…. I have done NOTHING illegal, against the law, or anything of the sort.” Later adding, “I’m only tweeting this to raise awareness. I could have left quietly, but I am sick & tired of this scenario being played over & over again. It is time to do something about it. I am a mother raising a young black child in America. I’m going to die trying!”” (Huffington Post Black Voices, 2011).

The relationship with the African-American community and the police has historically has always been less than pleasant. And in this dawning age of social media and networking, when it takes one seconds to post an experience to a Twitter account it goes to show that no matter who you think you are the fact that one is Black doesn’t change. Nor does is it change how others will treat you because of that, or change the things you will inevitability experience in your life time. The realm of Black Twitter gives a space to express these things with others like you and different from you as well.

I decided to take on this research because Twitter is the website I find myself using most often but I never realized why until I realized I was a part of “Black Twitter”. What really prompted me to do this study is an article I read online last year, “How Black People Use Twitter” by Farhad Manjoo (Manjoo, 2010). In the article he speaks about hashtags such as “#WordsThatLeadToTrouble”, and many others he found were almost always created by people of color or African-Americans (I’m making this lexical exception for Black people that live outside of the United States), and trend on twitter very quickly and explosively, even globally. That is not to say that people who are not African-American do not use or create hashtags. But African Americans tend to use them more frequently, and on of a more diverse range of topics, these topics also tend to make the top trends on twitter as well. And more often than not the earliest retweeters of these topics tend to be people of color. Of course people of other races catch on to these trends and also retweet them expanding them even further. When I speak of “topics” I am talking about local or global trending topics on twitter. On the lower right-hand side of home screen on the Twitter web interface, Twitter lists frequently appearing phrases, or hashtags from Twitter tweeted by users usually denoted with the number symbol “#”. To make something a” trending topic depends on the number of people tweeting at the same time on a topic and the hour of the day.” (Analyics Buzzgain.com , 2009) Manjoo suggests that this gives Black Twitter’s users a very strong presence on twitter. Another article I read over this summer “Twitter Gets Even More Popular with Black Users. Why?” by Jeff Bercovici (Bercovici, 2011), States that 25% of all black people that use the internet use twitter. The article also theorized that, “black users report more interest in celebrities and entertainment news, and people with heightened interest in those areas are more likely to join Twitter”.

After that I did in fact notice that I followed a majority of African-American and Black users on Twitter and had the same distinction of followers. When seeking informants on this topic, I went straight for the “big boys” of twitter, the bloggers. I later found that most of the people I interview feel that the Black bloggers are the central artery of “Black Twitter”. I went to the bloggers because in my experience that is where most of the information and news I see on twitter comes from. The bloggers though not quite celebrities tend to have large follower numbers and engage with a diverse communities within their own audience. And throughout my research process certain Black bloggers and Black bloggers in generally kept coming up. Bloggers like Necole Bitchie (Nicolebitchie.com), Jia (Missjia.com), HelloBeautiful.com, YBF.com (Young Black and Fabulous) were all highly mentioned blogs. If Black Twitter is indeed High School these are the cool kids, and the crux of the “rumor mill”.

In gathering data, I used a variety of methods, simple but effective. I did live and saved observations of my own timeline, looking at the tweets of people I follow making notes and comments on what I did observe. I did follow some additional people for the purpose of getting a better sample for this research study. Some of those people where the “major players” of Black Twitter such as, Oprah, Lala Anthony, Miss Jia, and 50 cent. I also followed some popular black folk on Twitter such as, @LoveCrissle, and singer K. Michelle. I also decided to follow more straight men as part of my study, I a have large number of Black gay male followers and thought that having no straight male observations would alter my research. I could not always observe my timeline live so I would clip screen shot of tweets and analyze them later. This is the method I used most often when making field notes. It also gave me a way to save the raw data. I got the opportunity to conduct four interviews, three of these interviews where over the video call program Skype, one was over the phone. I did a phone conference focus group with two current African-American twitter users and one former user. I also had the opportunity to do “real-life” observations at the Mcdonald’s Mix Masters “Tweet-n-Meet”. One of the issues I faced with gathering data is that Black people all over the world use Twitter. And because of things like, slavery, and the African diaspora, colonization, and imperialism, where you live or where you are from can define what kind of Black person you are or more over what type of “Black experience” you therein receive. Even in America that can differ from state to state, city to city, and county to county. So slight overwhelmed, I had to figure out if I even could contextualize the Black experience as reflected through Twitter. I didn’t want to nor could I leave any one group of Black people out so I was very meticulous in observations, and careful not to over generalize. When talking about the United States specifically, I find that Black Twitter is regionalized. It has to do strongly with Black Hip-Hop regional followings, dating back to the “Soul Cities” of the 1960’s, and the “East Coast – West Coast rap rivalries” of the early 1990’s and the emergence of Southern rap in the late 1990’s. In relating with Black Twitter these regions have Black bloggers that follow the Black celebrities and personalities of that region and write about them on their blogs. And these bloggers have a following (audience) of the average Black Twitter user under them. These regions to the best of my deduction look something like this; you have the East Coast Twitter Kingdom which includes New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and the DMV (D.C., Maryland, Virginia) Area. The Miami Twitter Kingdom, which includes imports from the Caribbean, East Coast, and Southern regions. The Southern Twitter Kingdom, which includes, Atlanta, The Carolinas, Alabama, and Texas. The Mid-West Twitter Kingdom, which includes, Chicago, Colorado (Denver), St. Louis, and Ohio. And finally the West-Coast Twitter Kingdom which includes California, and Las Vegas. Now these Kingdoms are defined by the large number of African-Americans that live in or frequent them, and subsequently tweet from them or about them. This may also further the reason why Twitter in many capacities is so segregated.

In thinking about the things I’ve seen while collecting this research, and trying to find cultural themes in an online community, one constant reoccurring theme is African-American Twitters live tweet on television shows and entertainment a great deal more than their counter parts of other races. In every interview, observation, and focus group that I did during this study tweeting about shows like, Basketball Wives, or Real House Wives of Atlanta came up a great deal. This also includes the hashtags specific to these shows. These hashtags are usually created by the television network, and then comments are by twitter users watching or talking about the show. Often humorous comments made about the shows are often retweeted by other user and spread into trending topics.

Across the board with the trek through the tribes of “Black Twitter”, I discovered that African-American users interact with each other more freely. We talk, we share our lives, black bloggers are more often than not at the center of this sharing sort directing the topics of conversation. Bloggers, Black bloggers particularly have a great deal of influence over their respective audiences in the Black Twitter world. And with the innumerable topics that bloggers bring to the table from natural hair care for women of color, to gossip on Black entertainers, to Blacks in the world of politics there is an endless stream of pseudo directed discussion. Therefore it’s like bloggers are the popular kids at the side table in lunch room and everyone hangs around them hoping to grab the latest bit of gossip or the inside scoop on what’s going on in school. It goes to the point where major companies seek bloggers to help promote new products or events. Toward the end of November I got the chance to attend the McDonald’s Mix Masters and Tastemakers event in Time Square, New York. This was a sort of post-event where McDonald’s had contest winner of last year’s Mix Masters event (Mix Masters is contest where McDonald’s as customers vote online for the best local DJs from around the country the winner gets a cash prize and is sponsored by McDonald’s for the next year.) DJ the event they select local bloggers from the area which happened to be all of color with the exception of one to taste new burgers and tweet and Facebook post about the DJ, the event, and the food. They gave complementary gift bags, which where beige canvas bags with cassette tapes silk screened on the front of the bag, I guess to give it that retro hip-hop urban field. Corporations like McDonald’s use bloggers for a type of consumer direct marketing; because people generally trust the bloggers/blogs they read and use them as reliable resources of information. In events like this blogger are given free food, and drinks, free stuff I guess is to persuade the blogger to talk about the company in this case McDonald’s not just as a business venture but as friendly, humanist brand. And McDonald’s spared no expense; they had a Big Mac rap freestyle contest during the event were one of the blogger could have won a pair of Beats by Dre headphones which retail for over $149. Each gift bag had a McDonald’s gift worth $15, a T-Shirt, and hat. They also sponsored an after-party for all of the guest from the event at the swanky Tribeca night club “Greenhouse” which offered a full open bar for the guest. This event was directly targeted towards making gains in the urban market, therefore urban bloggers where invited to attend the event. Most of the urban bloggers happen to be African-American and their readership and audience more often than not follows suit. This is no coincidence, by history urban markets are hard to crack, and people go to who they can trust for information on products, brands, and food. Through Twitter and Sub-Community of Black Twitter people you follow though you may not know them in “real life” began to feel like your friends so you trust them and use them as resources, companies take advantage of that. Funny, interesting, young, well dressed, well informed, African-American bloggers are seemingly the best way to reach directly to your consumer without shoving ads down their throat, it’s like getting recommendation on a good restaurant from a close friend.

It was a strange experience observing my timeline for the purpose of study this put Twitter in a new light for me. Things that I normally think of as common place and don’t typically pay attention too began to stick out; I also gained new insight into the lives of certain people I follow. In the endless sea of Black tweets I finally began to see themes emerge, and the thing I noticed the most was that African-American tweeters, tweet about African-American celebrities a lot! Particularly musicians. Rappers, R&B, Singers, Mixtapes, and new albums tend to be the most reoccurring themes. Black Twitter is deeply connected to music; African-American music is deeply entrenched in African-American culture and American culture itself. We created the rhythm of a nation in large part, and those roots translate on to Black Twitter itself. One of my followers @Jux_Jeff who appears a lot in my observations talks about Rihanna constantly. His tweets are often retweet by his followers who are Rihanna lovers as well who as happen to be African-American, and cycle continues. I see that “soul” translates in large part on Black Twitter, the tweets are not really generic, that have some weight to them meaning I’ve noticed that African-American people counsel and consul each other a great deal more than their white counter parts. African-American people also see advice more than their white counterparts on twitter. It’s more than, “I’m doing this” or “I’m going here now” or “This is what I’m eating for breakfast”.   There are entire visible support systems apparent in Black Twitter; African-American women especially use these support systems.  Even for things like hair-care, Chris-Tia Donaldson founder of “ThankGodImNatural.Wordpress.com” (@TGINatural) has a following on over 12,000 on Twitter. Almost all of which are African-American women, these women seek tips or insight on going natural, or maintain natural hair (when I say natural I mean not permed or the use of extensions or hair weave). And she’s sort of built her own forum of sort for these women into her twitter page. But these women talk about more than just hair care, they talk about, men, politics, their everyday struggles as women of color, it’s like a support group almost. This is how Black people use Twitter. But I cannot talk about this without talking about another culture theme that I noticed, Black people love live tweeting during Television shows. I mentioned this earlier but it is something that was a huge part of my observations. In fact as I am typing this report there are Millions of African-American Twitter users live tweeting about “Braxton Family Values” which is a show on WeTV about singer Toni Braxton her family (See appendix 7). It made the number eight trending topic on twitter for the past hour.  From what I can see all the people tweeting and retweet about the show are African-American. It’s like one Black family on a giant sofa extending a across America laugh, joking and commenting on the same TV show. The Black Twitter Experience is a bonding experience.

The focus group I held via conference call, with a few close friends of my who are Twitter users and my cousin who is a former twitter user they joined twitter when it first started. My cousin Teneille recounted that in early days of twitter when there were only about 6,000 users across the country. There was no Black Twitter in those days, she thought that Black Twitter arose from the “second wave of cool people to join twitter in 2008” the shock bloggers. That would spew news on celebrities directly on to twitter and this was a new experience and type of interaction to blog readers at large. They also sort of mused that in the early days of Twitter was sort of like “the wild wild west”  you did know if you were talking to a real celebrity or the actual blogger of that site because in those day there was no such thing as a verified account. The group thought that Black Twitter started regionally, amongst Bedford-Stuyvesant, and East New York Brooklyn African-American Twitter Users. Then fanned out interstate with different blogger circles, and key people.

Lastly, from all the information I’ve gathered, people I’ve spoken too, places I have gone, and observations I have made I have realize that Black Twitter does indeed exist! It is virtual space where the Black community across the world is becoming an extended family. Through arbitrary statements, humorous outburst, watching television together, seeking and giving advice, and always having the inside scoop on a celebrity or the boy next door. I’ve learned that African-American people drive, and fuel social networking for its intended use and true purpose, creating an authentic resource community online. Seemingly we were able to do this quickly and quietly, due to our history of bonding in initially unorthodox ways. Theirs is a great deal more about what Black Twitters is and can do, my research barely even touches the nose of all the possibilities that is online community possess. I still feel as if there are questions I haven’t asked, and people I have yet to took to, and that is so much more than what it seems. I want to know what need in the community that this is filling since it is so widely use. Black Twitter is a resting place, where every Black person that was ever born can become family again by sharing our lives in the way that is so unique to us through this social media website. We staked out our own community within a community. But that’s what we have always done.

The 2,000 sq ft spa is absolutely killer, the first thing struck me was how immaculately clean it was. You can always tell how well any barbershop ACTUALLY is by its restroom, IT WAS SPOTLESS! With African and Zodiac inspired accents, aroma therapy candles, decent soap and hand sanitizer. The Spa offers complementary cocktails while you wait. Some of the best state licensed barbers, and manicurist in the city. My barber whom was assigned to me, Vernon gave me the best line up I’ve ever received. My ceaser was sharp! And he used this citrus oil infused after-shave which was great. All his tools were clean, and what really stood out to me was that he washed his hands before touching my head at all.  The experience was very classy.

Look my hair

The Spa which is exclusively for men but your lady can have a drink while she waits. Offers gift packages starting at $80 up to $225 which can include everything from a manicure and pedicure, message, hair cut and facial. They’re basic services are actually quite competitively priced with a Ceaser’s  starting only $18, and a line-up starting at $8. B Braxton also offers natural hair services (Braids, Locs, etc) with amazing prices and excellent service and treatment. And they also do eyebrows and backs for those of us for are a little hairy….And the full monty for $50.

Overall, I fell in love with the service and the atmosphere of the entire spa and will be a returning customer. If your a man that likes to look good, is about high quality service, and is about your business and refinement B. Braxton is that place for. I HIGHLY recommend you pay a visit, if for nothing else than to try it out. But once you go Braxton you’ll never go back.

For more information or to schedule and appt. Visit or call:

B. Braxton 1400 5th Avenue  New York, NY 10026 (116th Street)

(212)-289-3200

B.Braxton.com

@BBraxton

Adventures in Black Twitter

In this ethnography I intend to take a close look at the people of color that frequent the social networking/ social media website known as Twitter. As with any other things people of color use Twitter different than their counter parts of other races, some would even argue that they use it more effectively. I wanted to study “Black Twitter” because it is community that I am actively involved in but am constantly learning more about. I am personally entrenched in the quarks, cliques, Twitter-ism of the Black twitter community. And since a study like this has never really been done before I hope to gain a number of unique perspectives on something I use daily.

Twitter is a place where people from all over the world and, all walks of life can connect online and communicate via 140 character status update. Users can also share photos, videos, blog post, news, and many other things on twitter. Since the website launch in 2006, and gain of over of over 200 million users, and 1.6 billion search queries per day[1]. Twitter is used by everyone from school teachers, politicians, celebrities, porn stars, companies, stores, heck even Oprah has a twitter. In this way, twitter has become viable resource globally for information. In fact I get most of my news and current events via twitter.

What really prompted me to do this study is an article I read online last year, “How Black People Use Twitter” by Farhad Manjoo[2]. In the article he speaks about hashtags such as #WordsThatLeadToTrouble, and many others, are almost always created by people of color, and trend on twitter very quickly and explosively, even globally. But the earliest retweeters of these topics tend to be people of color. Of course people of other races catch on to these trends and also retweet them explaining even further. Manjoo suggests that this gives Black Twitter’s users a very strong presence on twitter. Another article I read over this summer “Twitter Gets Even More Popular with Black Users. Why?” by Jeff Bercovici, (Forbes.com)[3]. Stated that 25% of all black people that use the internet use twitter. The article also theorized that, “black users report more interest in celebrities and entertainment news, and people with heightened interest in those areas are more likely to join Twitter”.

I have a myriad of questions I would like to ask my subjects. Most of which include, why they decided to use twitter in the first place, how long have they been using the website. What application or interface they use to tweet from. Who are some of their favorite people to follow, and why? Who are their favorite followers, what do they most often find themselves retweeting. What do they think black twitter is? What do they use twitter for. And how often do they use twitter.

The preponderance of my writing this project will be based on observations of tweets of people of color I already follow (I also intend to follow more of the “major players” in black twitter such as Oprah, and 50 Cent). Studying the sources and themes of trending hash tags both of people of color and other races, to get better grasp of what these really mean to the community of people of color on twitter by-at-large. Interviews from black people that use twitter and consider themselves apart of “Black Twitter”. And online focus groups of diverse people of color that use twitter.

I’m not sure of the limitations of this venture at moment but I am sure will hit a few road blocks along the way. All in all I hope to gain a clearer understand of what “Black Twitter” really is if anything. I also hope to find that the tweeting power that people color may have is factual and understand how it is being used. The “Black experience” is so varied the possibilities of what it translate to when imposed to 140 characters is exciting.

[2] http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2010/08/how_black_people_use_twitter.html

[3] http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffbercovici/2011/06/01/twitter-gets-even-more-popular-with-black-users-why/

Grammy’s as the biggest or most popular music award show in America, last night the VMA’s had over a million live tweets with the hashtag #WhatWillGagaWhere and #VMA. But I’ll start with the biggest news from the award show that seemed to over

shine everything, Beyoncè is pregnant y’all! King B made two clear gestures last night one on the VMA black carpet where she relived the shape of her baby bump underneath her red flowing dress. Then again during her performance of “Love on Top” where at the end of the performance she dropped the mic and rubbed her belly.Jay-Z, Kanye and her entire camp seemed to glow with excitement. She stole the show.

Lets move on the big winners of the evening:

Video of The Year – Katy Perry | Firework

Best Female Video – Lady Gaga | Born This Way

Best New Artist – Tyler The Creator

Best Male Video – Justin Bieber | U Smile

Best Collaboration – Katy Perry & Kanye West | ET

Best Hip-Hop Video – Nicki Minaj | Superbass

Best Rock Video - The Foo Fighters | Walk

Best Pop Video – Britney Spears | Till The World Ends

Best Video With a Message – Lady Gaga | Born This Way

Best Art Direction – Adele | Rolling in The Deep

Best Choreography – Beyoncè (Choreography by Frank Gatson, Sheryl Murakami & Jeffrey Page) | Run The World (Girls)

Best Cinematography – Adele | Rolling In The Deep

Best Direction – Bestie Boys (directed by Adam Yauch) |  Make Some Noise

Best Editing - Adele (Editing by Art Jones at Work) | Rolling In The Deep

Best Special Effects – Katy Perry Feat. Kanye West ( Special Effects by Jeff Dotson for Dot & Effects)| ET

I can honestly say the biggest winner of the night was Tyler The Creator’s mom when he won for best new artist that woman caught all types of the holy ghost, I thought she was gonna pass out!

We all Know MTV knows how to put down a tribute and this year there were two very special ones. Britney Spears won the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard award presented by Lady Gaga (in full drag), Britney was in tears from the heartfelt speak Lady Gaga gave. They also gave tribute to her with a dance medley from her greatest videos.

Also Jazz Icon Tony Bennett, Comedian and friend Russell Brand, and Singer Bruno Mars came together to give an awesome tribute to the late great Amy Winehouse.

Performances…. wow here are the ones that in my opinion brought down the house.

[Lady Gaga (still in drag) You & I]

[Watch The throne - Otis]

[ Pitbull Feat. Ne-Yo Give Me Everything]

[Chris Brown - Dance Medley (3X/Protect Ya Neck/Teen Spirit/ Beautiful People)]

[Adele - Someone Like You]

[Beyonce - Love On Top]

All and all this years VMA’s was amazing and topped last years by a landslide.

After that the only thing that seemed to be left was Ru Paul’s Drag Race, which in my opinion is one of the most interesting and creative competition reality shows on television. Drag Race is also Logo’s most racial diverse show. I will admit Logo doesn’t have a great deal of original programming, in fact most of the day Logo is running either reruns of Buffy The Vampire Slayer or Absolutely Fabulous. But the original programs Logo does air are extremely white washed, Caucasian friendly so to speak.

Well what about 1 Girl 5 Gays, Mr. Sykes? 1 Girl 5 Gays does have a some what diverse cast but here’s the thing, 1G5G is a Canadian MTV show that Logo picked up it’s not a Logo original series that is what I’m focusing on here. No to mention that  since 1G5G is a foreign pick up that still airs in Canada so we get the new episodes a season later. And who’s watching Logo after 12am?

Anyway the brunt of my frustration comes from one of Logo’s newer shows “A-List New York” , the A-List New York is a reality series centered around six affluent New York Gay Men. The show focuses on their personal lives, dramas, careers, and friendship. Sounds like a great show, except for one thing there is not one black man on that show( except for Ryan Nickulas’ husband who is seen in the 1st episode then never seen again). Yes we have talented photographer Mike Ruiz, and model Rodiney Santiago who are both Latino which is great. But Logo again has this way of white washing thing Mike “Latiness” is sort of down played, I know for a fact that he is proud Latino man and donates his time and money to many Hispanic and LGBT charities.  Rodiney who is very Brazilian is some what made fun of, they subtitle every word that man says and, HIS ACCENT IS NOT THAT THICK! I feel that being done is a little disrespectful. I understand that I’m from New York and I have a great deal of experience dealing with people from many cultures on a daily basis so I might have a better ear accent-wise than someone from Iowa watching the show, but still he’s not that hard to understand.

They have recently added an African-American character to the show Nyasha Zimucha former Miss Africa USA, Recording Artist and Business owner; it seems like my angry tweets, facebook post and e-mails to Logo TV were finally heard. But as successful and beautiful as Nyasha is, she has no business being on the show. Putting a straight women on the show who has no LGBT advocacy background prior to the A-list as the token black character is a cop out! I’m sorry is! THERE ARE THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of African-African out and proud gay men in New York they could have chosen to fill that spot.

I can name 4 off the top off my head, B. Scott (Media Personality/Founder of Double Kisses Beauty Products), Patrik Ian Polk (Creator of Noah’s Arc & Punks), Kid Fury (Sofurious.com Founder/ Vibe magazine Journalist), Andre Leon Talley (Former Editor At Large of Vogue). I really don’t see what the issue is? Gay men of color are marginalized within in queer culture as it is, we’ve formed our own sub-culture which is stolen and borrowed from all the time. It’s sort of like the invisible black gay, every one is inspired by black gay culture yet when it comes to mainstream media we aren’t there!

And don’t get me started on the A-List Dallas… 1 black character in call of Dallas 1 black character and he doesn’t even have a job? That’s going to be the kiki of the show….

It’s a new day, I’m not asking for a lot I just want to see people that look like me on the television networks I support. Give me a black gay sitcom, a soap opera, something!

“In this horrific age of LGBT kids taking their own lives, they need to know that they ARE BEAUTIFUL and their lives are worth living. Aside from those that are committing suicide, the bullies that facilitate these tragedies need to learn that homophobia is NOT okay. They need to know that acceptance of their fellow human beings would indeed plant a seed of peace that will reverberate throughout the world. We are not asking that Sesame Street do anything crude or disrespectful by allowing Bert & Ernie to marry. It can be done in a tasteful way. Let us teach tolerance of those that are different. Let Sesame Street and PBS Kids be a big part in saving many worthy lives.”

Although I think the petition is commendable as a queer man I’m not sure I agree, a friend of a friend on facebook put it this way,

“totally disagree! they’ve become political pawns between two groups. I feel making them gay and insisting they get married is wrong and only exacerbates the stereotype that two men living together MUST be gay. It’s a children show. I am all for gay marriage, but this is the wrong way to do it. Bert and Ernie were created to teach children that two people, despite however different they may be, can get along with each other and be good friends.”

I feel similarly, although it is never to early to start teaching tolerance and equality I’m not sure if this is the way to do it. What do you think? Check out the video below and leave your comments…

The Latex Ball always brings out crowd, be it the virgin voguer ready to make their debut, an up and coming queen ready to show their skills on the runway. Or the legend that’s going to show us all how it’s done, even celebrities come out to show their support.

Model Shaun Ross w/Designer friends Coco & Breezy

Singer Wish with Vogue Evolution

There were many honorees that night, one of them being friend of the site Jaszi Alejandro receiving the Luna Khan Youth Award

Jaszi Alejandro Luna Khan Youth Award

Acclaimed director Jennie Livingston of Paris is Burning honoring the memory of Paris Dupree.

Jennie Livingston

Even Whitney Thompson Americans Next Top Model Cycle 10 winner showed up, did an ova walk down runway and gave little spiel on the importance of safe sex… oh and shes a brunette now.

And the Imperial Court of New York was out in full for force donating $1000 for the event

The Imperial Court New York

There are video clips with highlight from the night and gallery of photos from evening below, ENJOY!!!!!

Introduced by Center director Glennda Testone

The panel held at the center was moderated by film producers and LGBT activist Peggy Rajski and included, Trevor Project board member and psychiatrist Jeffrey Fishberger, LGBT youth specialist and Ballroom Icon Raul Rivera, director Rashaad Green, and cast members, Harmony Santana, and Esai Morales.

The local youth from center’s Youth Enrichment Services (YES), Youth from the Ali Forney organization, a members of the Bronx congressional party and supporters where all in attendance.

There are a few clips below I put together of the panel.

The film opens in select theaters nation wide today please go out and support!

visit GunHillRoad.com for more info

New York, NY - Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC) and the World Federation of Hemophilia laud the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) for outlining concrete steps toward review of the Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) permanent deferral on blood donation by gay and bisexual men. In a question-and-answer document, HHS described four areas of necessary study to allow a further review of the existing policy, and implementation of the June 2010 recommendations from the Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability (ACBSA). These areas include:

• How the risk of blood transmissible diseases in the current donor population relate to the risk factors in donors;
• The root cause of quarantine release errors (QRE), the accidental release of blood not cleared for use that potentially put the blood supply at risk;
• If potential donors correctly understand the current questionnaire and if men who have sex with men (MSM) would comply with modified deferral criteria; and If alternative screening strategy (e.g. pre- and/or post-qualifying donation infectious disease testing) for MSM (and potentially other high-risk donors) would assure blood safety while enabling data collection that could demonstrate safe blood collection from a subset of MSM or other currently deferred donors.

“We are pleased to see that the federal government has taken critical steps to review outdated blood donation policies,” said  Nathan Schaefer, Director of Public Policy at GMHC.

“As this research agenda is pursued, GMHC will continue educating the public about the negative consequences of current blood donation policies, and advocating for revised policies that would allow low-risk gay men to donate blood and maintain the highest standard of blood safety.“

“The safety of the nation’s blood supply is of paramount importance to all Americans,” said Mark Skinner, President of the World Federation of Hemophilia.

“We are encouraged by the Secretary’s proposed research agenda. The knowledge gained will allow for a thoughtful scientific review of the suboptimal aspects of the donor deferral policy. We look forward to the Secretary engaging both donors and patients in the research process.“

In February 2010, GMHC released a comprehensive report titled “A Drive For Change: Reforming U.S. Blood Donation Policies,” which details the FDA’s current blood donation guidelines and provides recommendations for alternative guidelines that emphasize behavior-based deferrals. In June 2010, GMHC provided testimony at the ACBSA meeting held to review the MSM policy. GMHC has long advocated for consistently applied standards of rigorous, scientifically-based blood safety, contributing to an increased pool of blood donors.

In June 2010, Mark Skinner spoke on behalf of the American Plasma Users Coalition (A-PLUS) at the ACBSA meeting held to review the MSM policy. A-PLUS is a coalition of national patient organizations created to address the unique needs of over 125,000 patients with rare diseases that use life-saving plasma protein therapies and are dependent on blood plasma therapies to lead healthy. A-PLUS has acknowledged that the scientific basis for the permanent deferral requires review, and previously indicated that there are a number of factors which should be fully evaluated before making a revision to the policy. Such evaluation and research could lead to a policy revision that maintains or enhances the safety of blood and blood products.

*Fingers crossed*

New York, NY - Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC) and the World Federation of Hemophilia laud the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) for outlining concrete steps toward review of the Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) permanent deferral on blood donation by gay and bisexual men. In a question-and-answer document, HHS described four areas of necessary study to allow a further review of the existing policy, and implementation of the June 2010 recommendations from the Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability (ACBSA). These areas include:

• How the risk of blood transmissible diseases in the current donor population relate to the risk factors in donors;
• The root cause of quarantine release errors (QRE), the accidental release of blood not cleared for use that potentially put the blood supply at risk;
• If potential donors correctly understand the current questionnaire and if men who have sex with men (MSM) would comply with modified deferral criteria; and If alternative screening strategy (e.g. pre- and/or post-qualifying donation infectious disease testing) for MSM (and potentially other high-risk donors) would assure blood safety while enabling data collection that could demonstrate safe blood collection from a subset of MSM or other currently deferred donors.

“We are pleased to see that the federal government has taken critical steps to review outdated blood donation policies,” said  Nathan Schaefer, Director of Public Policy at GMHC.

“As this research agenda is pursued, GMHC will continue educating the public about the negative consequences of current blood donation policies, and advocating for revised policies that would allow low-risk gay men to donate blood and maintain the highest standard of blood safety.“

“The safety of the nation’s blood supply is of paramount importance to all Americans,” said Mark Skinner, President of the World Federation of Hemophilia.

“We are encouraged by the Secretary’s proposed research agenda. The knowledge gained will allow for a thoughtful scientific review of the suboptimal aspects of the donor deferral policy. We look forward to the Secretary engaging both donors and patients in the research process.“

In February 2010, GMHC released a comprehensive report titled “A Drive For Change: Reforming U.S. Blood Donation Policies,” which details the FDA’s current blood donation guidelines and provides recommendations for alternative guidelines that emphasize behavior-based deferrals. In June 2010, GMHC provided testimony at the ACBSA meeting held to review the MSM policy. GMHC has long advocated for consistently applied standards of rigorous, scientifically-based blood safety, contributing to an increased pool of blood donors.

In June 2010, Mark Skinner spoke on behalf of the American Plasma Users Coalition (A-PLUS) at the ACBSA meeting held to review the MSM policy. A-PLUS is a coalition of national patient organizations created to address the unique needs of over 125,000 patients with rare diseases that use life-saving plasma protein therapies and are dependent on blood plasma therapies to lead healthy. A-PLUS has acknowledged that the scientific basis for the permanent deferral requires review, and previously indicated that there are a number of factors which should be fully evaluated before making a revision to the policy. Such evaluation and research could lead to a policy revision that maintains or enhances the safety of blood and blood products.

*Fingers crossed*

It all stared when B. Scott Retweet a photo Perez Hilton had posted to twitter of new mom Mariah Carey leaving an event with her two assistants. (Scott is a close friend of Carey’s and has been featured in some of her videos and promotions).

As Hilton is known for his quick, and sometimes backhanded remarks Scott reminded him to “Keep it cute” about Mariah.

Fellow celebrity blogger Necole Bitchie also chimed in about Perez’s amazing weight lost.

B. Scott continued his diatribe about Hilton on his twitter page remarking ” A snake is a  snake”

and Later “BUT he knows that if the talks about my sis negativity one more good time I will punch him in his throat. #fact #doublekissses” (Read tweets from the bottom up)

Perez  retored with “@lovebscott Violence is not funny. Violence is not okay. Violence is not cute. And neither are you! #BlockingYourAss”

Then B. READ HIM DOWN! Real classy and southern gentlemen like,

I see his weight loss hasn’t changed a damn thing….

“We only said goodbye with words, I dead a hundred times…” – Amy Winehouse

I am the biggest Amy Winehouse fan and I feel like I can even breathe right now. I would like to request from all my readers a Twitter moment of silence at 2pm Eastern Time for Amy you can find me at Twitter.com/Mrsykes for more.

The world of Sex, Drugs and Music is crazy and we don’t know how someone who seemingly had everything hurt so much. But that pain made some amazing music RIP Amy we love you.

“She walks away the sun goes down, she takes the day but I am grown. And in your gray in this deep shade my tears dry on their own.” – Amy Winhouse

NOW FIND SOMEBODY AND PUT A RING ON IT!

[Via The Advocate.com]

Erica Diaz, the lesbian granddaughter of New York state senator Ruben Diaz Sr., speaks for the first time about the personal pain caused by her grandfather,

“Albany’s most outspoken marriage equality opponent.” Diaz, 22, spoke about her feelings to the New York Post. She described an inability to stay silent as her grandfather, a Bronx Democrat, amplified his attacks against the marriage equality bill that could see a vote in the Republican-controlled senate in the next two weeks. “When I was younger, marriage equality was not an issue for me,” said Erica, who was discharged from the Navy under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

“But now, as my grandfather ceaselessly and callously comments on the issue, each and every word stings, since I live with my girlfriend of 2½ years, Naomi Torres, and our two sons, Jared and Jeremiah Munoz.” Last month, Erica attended a rally against marriage equality hosted by her grandfather, in order to force him to face her. The senator introduced his granddaughter and told the crowd of some 2,500 people, including National Organization for Marriage president Brian Brown, that he loved her. However, Erica said to the Post, “You cannot tell someone that you love them and stay silent when people call for their death. ‘Love’ is empty when you say someone’s life isn’t natural.” “He could quietly vote ‘no’ if that’s what he believes is right,” she continued. “But I want him to know that every word he utters hurts his own blood.” Last Friday, Bronx advocates announced that Erica would help them lead a march and rally on August 7 in direct response to the event organized by her grandfather on May 15.

The action will call attention not only to marriage equality, which may have received a vote by then, but also to problems including youth homelessness and the HIV epidemic that disproportionately challenge the Bronx LGBT community.

Erica has decided to speak out as the New York State Catholic Conference warned that the state senator, a Pentecostal minister and ally in their fight against marriage equality, has been subjected to “hate speech” and “death threats” for his beliefs. Specifically, Catholic Conference executive director Richard Barnes posted a Facebook note on Friday that took aim at an upcoming gay erotica contest mocking Diaz. “And this is all known to the press and in the halls of the Capitol. So where is the outrage in the media?” wrote Barnes. “Where is the cry for tolerance and justice for Rev. Diaz against these hate purveyors? The answer, sadly, is that there is no outcry. Are they saving it for after something truly awful happens to this good man? Until the hate that is being incited boils over into violent behavior?”

I never told my grandfather. Three years later I was watching grandpa do a TV interview. “I’m not homophobic. I have gay family members. I have a gay granddaughter.” I was stunned that he outed me on the air, since I never spoke to him about it directly. So I marched myself to his church and sat him down in his office and told him that I was a lesbian.en, at his May 15 anti-equality rally (where at least oneeaker proclaimed that gays and lesbians deserved death. Díaz invited Erica to join him after she had beenunterprotesting across the street. She describes the day: I was so nervous that morning that I threw up. I spoke against him across the street, directly within his view. But then I approached a police officer who escorted me to the podium where he spoke. My grandfather introduced me to the crowd and kissed me on the forehead. “This is my granddaughter,” he said. “She chose her way of life, but I chose God’s way, but I love her.” [...]

Due to all the interest surrounding my anal sex tips post I found a great anal play workshop for you guys in the city.It’s a Babeland workshop, they are great and fun I’ve been to a few. The Babeland sex educators are easy going and knowledgeable.

Babeland Presents…

Sexy Sunday: Booty Play Basics Sunday, June 12, 12:30PM, Freeoin Babeland Sex Educators foran introductory lesson in anal exploration, and learn why our mantra is “communication, relaxation, and lubrication”. Enjoy complimentary mimosas and brunch goodies. (Lower East Side)

This is a great opportunity for the gays and the straight folk to learn some new anal play tips

I think the cost is around $5 but you can contact the store for more info

Babeland LES

I’m exhausted. Who knew that you’d be so draining being in you and struggling to maintain it. I framed it. Blamed you for so long, maybe I should have been gone. Guilty of hanging on to you too long. I know you have no expiration date but sometimes you’re labeled “Best Used By’. And boy does time fly when you feel like you’re living a lie. So many are so desperate to die for you while I lied for you and now I pay the price by dying inside for you. But love you are beautiful, and I’ll cling to you dutifully and until you destroy every piece of me. And I have to start over. That’s the issue no one wants to start over. New beginnings carry the stench of dead endings until you’re far enough in the middle that you can see the end. Then my fair-weather friend loneliness returns to haunt me again. In truth, with love you only lose what you gain, I guess that’s what causes the pain. With each love that doesn’t stick you weaken your frame never to be the same, same. It’s a new same and a new pain. But for your first taste I would do it all again. Love, my curse, my burden, my best friend.

-         Patrick

It was early this morning when I got the news reading through my timeline, that beloved actor, model, and friend Maurice Murrell had passed.

The renowed star of Finding Me & Finding Me: Truth leaves us at the age of 25. Maurice touched many peoples lives and was an active figure in the LGBT community.

He will be greatly missed.

I will post more information about his death as it becomes available.  I extend my deepest condolences to his many friends and family. R I.P.

All throughout this past week you have been taking the necessary steps to make yourself a great catch. In the next 5 days we will focus on you putting yourself our there. It’s not as hard as it seems.

Day 6:

Ask someone from your group out for coffee. If they decline that’s ok, rejection is part of the process. See if there’s a better time or just ask someone else. DON’T OVER THINK IT! IT’S JUST COFFEE NOT A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. If all goes well exchange numbers. NO SOCIAL NETWORK INFO YET.

Day 7:

The approach for a first date is key. Send a text to fellow in question telling him you had a great time and you’d love to see him again soon.

At this point give them time to accept or decline don’t press it. If they say no go back to day 1. If they say yes, convince them to go play pool. Why pool? It’s a type of date that keeps both parties engaged while enabling conversation. You can’t talk to someone during a movie. And even if you go to dinner afterward all you’ll usually talk about is the movie not each other.

Day 8:

Go on the date, followed by dinner at some place you both found together. Points of discussion during dinner should include, personal interest, goals, dreams, family up-bringing.

DO NOT TALK ABOUT EX’S, SEXUAL EXPERIENCES, etc.

At this point you may also rejoin your social networks.

OH NO SEX ON THE FIRST DATE NONE! wait until at least your second. Lets keep some mystery.

Day 9:

Tell your friends about your dating experiences, but don’t makes decisions about said guy as yet. Ask for a second date if you’re still interested.

Day 10:
On date two ask about the possibility of long term dating. And by now you may just have yourself a boyfriend.

Now this system isn’t perfect and you may stumble or run into some blocks. It may take a few tries. The important thing is not to give up. You’ll find him… Have faith

[See Part 1]

If any of you have seen trailers or clips of “Finding Me: Truth” know this film sequel is bound to be an LGBT coming of age classic. Director Roger Omeus has given us an epic soundtrack to go with an epic film. Hold tight a release date for the film is coming soon.

Day 1:

Take a social networking hiatus. That means tell your twitter followers, facebook friends, ooVoo & Skype contacts that you’re taking a little break. I know this seems extreme but it’s only for 7 day I’m telling you it’s going to help. If you have a blog or a tumblr you can continue to update it has normal.

Day 2.

Research local LGBT community and social groups in your area. Find out enroll or member of the ones that appeal most to you whether that be a singles group, singing, sewing, something based on age or race.

Day 3.

Talk to a stranger. Find a guy that you don’t know, it would be good if you can spot a gay one and do this but if not a straight man will work just as well. The object of this is not to get a phone number, or ask for a date but to push your comfort zone. See you can do it, push yourself  to talk to someone, on the train, a bus, at starbucks, or wal-mart.

Day 4.

Actually go to one of the groups you researched,  and talk to someone, build a conversation. Remember to smile!

Day 5.

Watch the news if don’t regularly, I like NBC or ABC and if you wanna get really fancy watch CNN for 30mins.  Take some notes on things you found on things remotely interesting,  Commit them to memory.

[See Part 2]

I’m feeling a lot if things right now but mostly sadness and anger. As a lot of you know my first Celebrity interview for the site was with the boys of Cali Swag District. It was also one of their first print interviews (for Parlé magazine). I was horrified this morning to find in my twitter feed and later a text message that M-Bone was murderd.

This cats where really young and this just another example of the senseless violence that occurs among our youth of color in this world. I’m blown away….  22 years old and gone. You all can read the full story below about M-Bone’s death. More details to follow as they become available to me.

[via Global Grind]
Cali Swag District member M-Bone died of gunshot wounds last night in his hometown of Inglewood, CA. KTLA reports, “Rapper M-Bone of the Cali Swag District has reportedly been shot to death in Inglewood. The 22-year-old, whose real name was Montae Talbert, died Sunday night, TMZ is reporting. It’s believed the shooting happened outside a liquor store on La Brea in Inglewood. Inglewood Police Department officials confirm that a young man was shot to death while sitting in a parked car in front of the liquor store Sunday evening. Police say the suspect pulled up in red Mustang and opened fire.

The victim was struck twice at close range and pronounced dead at UCLA Medical Center. Witnesses say the Mustang drove off and then returned to the scene, almost as if to make sure the victim was dead.”

The Question becomes, can you tell the difference between a leaf and a root?

Exodus international an iphone/ipod application created by Method.

Exodus claims in the app description

“… Over 35 years of ministry experience, Exodus is committed to encouraging, educating and equipping the Body of Christ to the issue of homosexuality with grace and truth.”

It received a “4″ rating from Apple, which indicates the company considered the app to contain “no objectionable material.”

Yet many disagree with Apple’s assessment and are demanding that it be removed. “No objectionable content?

Change.org has launched an online petition calling for Apple to remove the app that has garned over 21,000 “signatures.”

With this app, you will find access to:
Latest News Twitter
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Real Stories Real Answers
FAQs Student Blog
Podcasts
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Featured Resource
Events
Video Responding to Bullying

Well thanks to free speech apple is going to have a hell of a time getting the app removed. But I think this is disgusting and I will be posting more after some more research

As LGBT people we have all been hurt or marginalized by society on some way shadow our form. My question to you all is, when we hurt the community the way larger society has hurt us, how then does the community thrive?

What I am taking about Ladies and gentlemen is SHADE! The opportunistic tearing down off another person for some times no other reason than you can. There are times when shade is necessary, like when someone close to us is showing early signs of distructive behavior. Sometimes shading them in to seeing the nature of their actions is helpful.

But my point is being gay is hard enough don’t make our harder on your other gay brothers and sisters. We’ve all been hurt enough. Being kind to those who may have never know true kindness is a blessing. Difficult but a blessing.

So my challenge to you is, save the shade for the trees

Four days after an 8.9 degree earthquake struck Japan followed by a 30ft tsunami these are the current stats.

The official death toll reached 1,833 on Monday. But the number did not take into account the 2,000 bodies that Japan’s Kyodo News said had been found in the hard-hit Miyagi Prefecture on Japan’s northeast coast.

Available now for download on Amazon.com at on $3.00 (USD)  for Kindle, PC, Mac, iPod/iPhone, and Android. 10 Poems Gay Men Should Live By, is sincere, comical, and authentically life changing, I promise.

So rule #1 hygiene is everything. If you’re going to have anal sex your ass must be immaculate . Aside from the obvious STDs including HIV, herpes, and syphilis did you know, that certain types of hepatitis can be contracted during anal sex or rimming (oral sex involving the anus).

Rinsing the anus using products like [see video.... ]

Or taking a nice warm bath before engaging in anal sex , clean the area and also helps to warm up anal muscles for sex.

Rule#2 take your time. You just don’t want to go and ram something in your butt. Foreplay is paramount for anal sex. It helps warm the body and bring blood into the genitals including the anus. Finger play is also important and fun. But make sure finger nails are clean, trimmed and rounded. Start with one lubricated or moistened finger. And slowly work your way up to two or more fingers .

Rule #3 finding the right protection is everything . Using the right condoms dental dams or finger cots is almost as important as finding the right partner. Using condoms is important for safety as well as hygiene. Flavored condoms and dental dams are great especially for first-time experiences. I do not recommend using ribbed for her pleasure condoms or warming lubricant for anal sex. As these may cause irritation with anal tissue. If you have specific types of skin allergies or sensitivities don’t be afraid to explore  polyurethane condoms, latex free condoms or vinyl dental dams

[Listen my Radio Show Episode dedicated to anal sex]

[part two coming soon.... best lubes for anal sex]

Video Via Gay.com

1. Elmo Restaurant: Location -156 seventh ave. bet. 20th & 19th | Elmo is really great restaurant in the west village the neo-modern art decor is amazing. The low light and artistic features Elmo is perfect for a first date; downstairs they have Elmo lounge if you feel like dancing after your dinner. Price - $5-$25 a plate. Must haves – Mac ‘n Cheese, Fried Calamari (A’Feaking-mazing) Kobe burger trio, & Truffle fries. Website - http://www.elmorestaurant.com/index.html

2. Bar 89: Location – 89 Mercer St (between Broome St & Spring St) | Head across town to soho and Bar 89 is the lovers hide away, they draw the most diverse around with their super tasty cocktails. The drinks we’re a little on the expensive side for me starting at $12 but they are strong so it’s well worth it. The decor is nothing less than inspirational, and they have the coolest bathrooms I’ve ever seen.  Price – $11-$35 Must haves – The Buffalo Chicken Sandwich, Watermelon Martini. Website - http://www.yelp.com/biz/bar-89-new-york

3. Delicatessen: Location - 54 PRINCE STREET NEW YORK, NY 10012. Delicatessen is one of my favorite restaurants, I usually go there for lunch but it doubles as an amazingly chic dinner spot. This eco-friendly eatery makes you feel like you’re in an episode of The City, and right in East Village it’s full of gays and pretty models. Prices - $8 – $25. Must Haves – Cheese burger spring rolls. Website – http://www.delicatessennyc.com/ Twitter – @DeliNYC

4. 44th & X (Forty-Fourth & Tenth): Location - 44th Street & 10th avenue New York, NY. This midtown sensation is nothing short of spectacular everything on this menu is delicious . And with the light motif of 44th and X you feel like you’re dining in the country. Price – $13-$30 Must haves – EVERYTHING Website – http://www.44andx.com/

5. David Burke Kitchen (@ The St. James): Location – 23 Grand Street & 6th Avenue. David Burke is a spot I personally haven’t been to but it’s somewhere I really want to go. All the reviews are great and the decor is a little slice of paradise, it’s attached to the newly renovated St. James Hotel Soho which is one of the cities top stay’cation spots.This would be the perfect valentine’s day date for any LGBT couple. Prices – $7-$34 website - [source 1] [source 2]

I think a mans beauty is in a different realm than a woman’s not better just different. The words we use affect how we think about ourselves. Since men aren’t generally allowed to think of themselves as “pretty” I feel it leads to a lot of the repression we have among males in our society. It also serves as a parallel with homophobia and internalized self-hatred in gay men.

Things that are considered effeminate are pretty like, flowers, and rainbows, colorful dresses and who doesn’t like a beautiful flower. Today is a new day, and now is a new time. And boys can be and are pretty, and so much more than that. In 2011 use all the colors in the crayon box, because shades of grey are boring. Be beautiful, tell yourself you are, tell your sons. Be who ever you need to be truly happy, I mean as long as no ones getting hurt. Tell your sons you love them and how pretty they are. So they believe it. We’ll all be better off

National Media Program to Bring Diverse LGBT Voices and Stories to Americans

The Institute will consist of a two-day, advanced spokesperson training program in New York and Los Angeles (Los Angeles from May 20 – May 22, 2011 and in New York from July 22 – July 24), where GLAAD staff, leading journalists and talking heads and key media trainers will develop Institute participants in the areas of framing and messaging for on-camera and radio interviews.

Applicants to the Institute are asked to submit an application through GLAAD’s website: http://www.glaad.org/programs/pocmedia. The program will be limited to 25-30 people, and participants will receive ongoing support, coaching and training from GLAAD staff, including quarterly progress reviews.

“While the visibility of LGBT people and issues continues to grow, far too often the voices, views and faces of people of color are underrepresented, if represented at all, in American news, entertainment and online media,” said GLAAD’s Senior Director of Media Programs Rashad Robinson. “This initiative will help us elevate more voices and continue GLAAD’s ongoing effort to ensure that LGBT issues are represented in a fair, accurate and inclusive way – celebrating the rich diversity of the community and our allies.”

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Read this press release on GLAAD’s website

About GLAAD
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) amplifies the voice of the LGBT community by empowering real people to share their stories, holding the media accountable for the words and images they present, and helping grassroots organizations communicate effectively. By ensuring that the stories of LGBT people are heard through the media, GLAAD promotes understanding, increases acceptance, and advances equality. For more information, visit www.glaad.org. ]]> http://www.worldandmrsykes.com/2011/02/glaad-is-looking-for-lgbt-spokes-people-of-color/feed/ 0 http://www.worldandmrsykes.com/2011/02/music-monday-dawn-richard-atelltaleheart-mixtape/ http://www.worldandmrsykes.com/2011/02/music-monday-dawn-richard-atelltaleheart-mixtape/#comments Mon, 07 Feb 2011 11:37:38 +0000 Mr. Sykes http://www.worldandmrsykes.com/?p=703 1/3 of Dirty Money Star Dawn Richard released #ATellTaleHeart Mixtape Via her personal website the DawnRichardBlog.com this morning. The Mixtape is comprised of 15 New & Remixed tracks of the artists’. #ATellTaleHeart Mixtape promises to be nothing less than spectacular w/ 300 + downloads in the first 3 minutes of being posted.   Richard is extremely excited about #Atelltaleheart because she’s been tweeting about every 3 mins since sunday afternoon. I”M EXCITED TOO!

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Listen and Download the first single “Me, Myself & Y”

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Are you single? Lonely? Gay? Straight? Then come on down!!! It’s extremely fun and great way to meet some new people!

Some stories such as Kim packed a wedding gown and flew to Prague to marry a man she had only met online date back to the early 90′s when online dating was taboo.  To  who Jonas literally found a new life through his Second Life avatar in 2008. The documentary even included the story of Ryan Oelrich who the internet was able to open the doors of the gay world for him as he struggled for acceptance  in his early years. Oelrich who later became the center of Spokane, Washington mayor Jim West gay scandal.

I don’t want to give anymore about “When Strangers Click” away but it’s a great film and you all should watch the premier [ Feb. 14th @ 9pm Eastern on HBO]. And for more information about the documentary and even submit your own stories about online dating for future episodes visit http://facebook.com/whenstrangersclick

Y

Dan Cathy Statement from Chick-fil-A on Vimeo.

Chick Fil A VP Dan Cathy says in the video,

As our fans, you know we do our best to serve our local communities, and one of the ways we do that is by providing food to schools, colleges, civic groups, businesses, places of worship, not-for-profit groups. At his discretion, the local Operator agreed to simply provide a limited amount of food. Our Chick-fil-A Operators and their employees try very hard every day to go the extra mile in serving ALL of our customers with honor, dignity and respect.

But that’s not all folks, The Winshape Foundation sponsored by Chick-Fil-A made clear its views on homosexuality and gay marriage via an e-mail between an LGBT activist and a company rep (see below).

Chick-Fil-A donated over 18 million dollars to Winshape this past year to remodel The WinShape Retreat Center on Berry College’s mountain campus is just the kind of development to advance Martha Berry’s vision, said Dan “Bubba” Cathy, senior vice president of Chick-fil-A, at the retreat center’s grand opening on Wednesday.

The $18 million was to renovate Berry’s old Normandy buildings — the long-time home of the school’s dairy — during the past year. The company now will run the WinShape Retreat Center, primarily as a marriage seminar and ministry center.

“We felt like God has given us a vision for this,”said Cathy, who led Chick-fil-A’s effort to find a use for the 70-year-old buildings.

These continual, coincidental donations to and support to anti gay groups seems more than a little of putting to me. And that wishy-washy statement from Dan Cathy left me a little empty on the company’s true views of homosexuality and marriage equality. It seems as if that Chick-Fil-A is saying “As long as the gays are paying for our food….*shrug*”

Thoughts?

[Sources]: http://news.change.org/stories/chick-fil-a-partners-with-rabid-anti-gay-group | http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2011/01/heres-what-chick-fil-a-doesnt-understand-the-more-their-defenders-shoot-the-messenger-the-more-were-going-to-dig-up-new.html | http://romenews-tribune.com/pages/full_story/push?article-WinShape+Retreat+Center+to+help+mend+marriage+-+Local+New%20&id=3394203

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Here’s more info about the contest and the organization:

SAVE Dade is Miami’s local LGBT advocacy organization, fighting …for the equal rights of all people.

We’re giving away a FREE 3-day 2-night stay at The Royal Palm Hotel in Miami Beach, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Send a picture of you and your Valentine to david@savedade.org

The picture will be uploaded to SAVE Dade’s Facebook page and the couple with the most Likes before V-Day wins, so be sure to share with friends!

(Be sure to Like SAVE Dade’s Facebook page so you can like the photo!)See MoreSAVE Dade is Miami’s local LGBT advocacy organization, fighting for the equal rights of all people. We’re giving away a FREE 3-day 2-night stay at The Royal Palm Hotel in Miami Beach, just in time for Valentine’s Day! Send a picture of you and your Valentine to david@savedade.org The picture will be uploaded to SAVE Dade’s Facebook page and the couple with the most Likes before V-Day wins, so be sure to share with friends!

1. Teddy Bears - Everyone loves a big cuddly teddy bear and the bigger the better. But what even better than bigger? PERSONAL! Build-a-Bear.com is any easy fun way to add that extra personal touch for a loved on V-day. Build a Bear has tons of custom option for building your own personalized teddy. $: Bears can range anywhere from $10 – $80 depending on clothing and other add-ons for you order. But they have great Valentines day sales so go now!

2. A Spa Day – Who doesn’t love getting pampered? For valentine’s day especially there are a number of spa’s that offer all inclusive day packages that include: Manicure, Pedicure, Facial, Message, Wraps, THE WORKS! Depending on your budget Outtraveler.com has a list of the best gay owned spa’s around the country. $: services and packages can be any from $50 – $1,000

3. Chanel J12 Chronograph Black Ceramic Mens – Watches are a tasteful, elegant expression of gifting. You want to show him you care, buy him this watch. Black ceramic case with a ceramic bracelet. Bidirectional rotating bezel. Black dial with luminous hands and luminous hour markers.  Luminiscent hands and dial markers. Automatic date between 4 and 5 o’clock. Automatic movement. Scratch resistant sapphire crystal. Water resistant at  660 feet (200 meters). $: The watch retails between $6,000-$7,000 but if you got it why the hell not! Available on Amazon.com

4. Macbook Pro – For that tech nerd in your life get him something can occupy his attention almost as well as you can! If he doesn’t already have one, Macbook are great, dependable, and safe just like a 2nd boyfriend. Apple’s customer service and tech support are paramount and I’m sure he’ll love talking to you the new Mac-apps facetime. $: Brand New Macbook Pro’s – 11″ $1,199 | 15″ $1,799 | 17″ $2,299. But you can find great refurbishment & Pre-owned deals on http://store.apple.com/us/browse/home/specialdeals/mac & PowerMax.com

5. Cash or Dinner Date – Finally if you can’t think of nothing else, there’s nothing nothing better than old faithful. COLD HARD CASH! who doesn’t like the gift that keeps on giving, in a nice thoughtful card and a handwritten note. Remember anything less than $50 in a card for a mate is a joke. Or a dinner date, take him some place he’s never been or always wanted to go OR EVEN BETTER YOU COOK FOR HIM. Get some cute underwear and an apron light some candles, it’s a night of magic.

Hi guys,

I’m back from my blogging and radio vacation! So this year on World & Mr. Sykes there are a new changes I wanted you all to be aware of. First off I will be blogging about 3 times a week unless I find some regular contributors to write with me. I am starting a new blogging series called “Gay: Love, Sex & Self” what I will be talking about in these post is exactly what the title implies it’s going to be a life styles series for the queer person in 2010. I will be talking about relationships, dating, products that LGBT folk like and can use, and a whole lot more stuff. I will be keeping music and gossip post to a minimum will probably do a music Monday or something to that effect.

Secondly, my radio will be moved to Thursday nights at 10pm and will now be called “Gay Love, Sex & Self” same url http://blogtalkradio.com/lovemrsykes this more awesome topics, guest, and music. As always if there’s anything you want from me as a blogger feel free to contact me via twitter (@mrsykes) or on facebook.

HAPPY TRAILS